So today I lost more hair than I have on any day so far. Most of it falls it in the shower after I shampoo, but it also comes out throughout the day on my clothes, in my food, all over the floor, etc. Poor Ryan got a few strands in his blueberries the other day. It’s thin enough now that you can see through to my scalp, though oddly there are still no bald spots. Tomorrow I plan on cutting it short and then shaving it off. Ethan is ready to cut it for me and plans on giving me a mohawk.
I feel a little anxious about not having hair because it’s such an obvious physical sign that something is wrong. So far I’ve been able to make the decision whether I want to tell people that I have cancer, and if I don’t tell them they probably wouldn’t know. The last time I lost my hair I was home most of the time. I was pretty sick from the more intensive chemo regimen and I was on maternity leave taking care of Ryan. When I did go out, I often struggled with how to cover my head. It was just one more part of my outfit to put together. This time around I feel like I have a better plan with a few easy options, so I’m hoping that won’t stress me out quite so much.
With any luck my new wig and hat will be in this week. I also ordered some bangs, just to frame my face under a scarf or hat. I really wanted to get these neat bangs on a headband from a company my friend Candi recommended, but headbands are usually uncomfortable for me. So instead I opted for these in a dark brown: